Dear Grackle,
I have a crush on someone in my class — can you offer me some advice on how to approach them? What are your best tips to impress a love interest?

Sincerely,
Unlucky in Love

Dear Fan,

YOU'VE COME TO THE RIGHT PLACE - I HAPPEN TO BE VERY GOOD AT TALKING TO THE LADIES! HERE'S WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO: PUFF UP YOUR FEATHERS REALLY BIG. YOU SHOULDN'T EVEN LOOK LIKE YOURSELF ANYMORE, JUST A BIG BALL OF FEATHERS. NOW, ASSUME THE POSITION: WINGS PULLED BACK, HEAD DOWN. RUN RIGHT UP TO HER WHILE SHRIEKING. THIS IS WHAT SCIENTISTS CALL A “COURTSHIP DISPLAY,” BUT I CALL IT THE OLD RAZZLE-DAZZLE. IF SHE LIKES YOU, SHE'LL FLY AROUND WITH YOU. PAIR BONDING ACHIEVED!

Yours,
Grackle

A grackle gives an intense look

The Grackle

Have a question for the grackle? Email us and we will pass it along to our avian adviser. The grackle's opinions are its own and do not necessarily reflect the views of the Texas Parks and Wildlife Department.